shoefalsefiction

Come and Go

2009-07-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

Blogging should be called blaagging. It's lost it's luster a bit. I know that minute by minute twittering seems to be more popular, but it doesn't allow for reflection and the filtered mind. I'm pretty sure that no one reads this any more and anyone could if they wanted to, but it's nice to have a place to just type random thoughts and sift through the day once in a great while. I have a lot of decisions to make in the near future; life changing decisions. Never before has it been so important to know what God wants and what is best for my family. I have a feeling that if I were to leave my home town that the world is changing so quickly I wouldn't recognize it on return. I need to do what is best for my family and that is a fragile and complicated matter. My wife and children are more important than my dreams and having less can sometimes mean more if it is with the right people. There is definitely a bitter sweet element to life's decisions. I pray God helps me to think with clarity and to lend myself to an effort that is worth change.

The Circle

2009-02-23T13:54:00.000-08:00

There was a day I walked alone and shed the ballast waste
And from the air there amassed a solemn, darkened taste
Of weaker days and cradled months and for long did they stay
Until at last they gripped and slipped a rope with ending fray

From there I walked in unison with sinner, politic, and saint
I scathed the witching stone and scraped from slate to slate
And when I came upon a clear I surmised a brightened path
But yet my feet would not turn, they would not beat the path

And so again, I walked alone and yet a different fear I tried
Walking in the shade and leaning side to side
Look! The circle widens greatly, but a light and bright still breathe
And the endlessness of this self walk has lead me to believe

There must exist an endless prairie of green, peace, and solitude
Where one can unload their greatest burden to serve the multitude
For the sinner, politic, and saint that wander near it's face
All of them long to end the circle, to find purpose and their place

Give Me Room

2009-01-13T22:06:00.000-08:00

The days go on and still there is no room or time for what people asked me to do and I never got around to doing. I woke up from my bed to write this out of a compelling feeling of incompletion. Incomplete because there are so many things I want to do in my life. There are so many people that I could help or gain insight from. My boys could raise their candor with me and my wife and daughter could confide in me at will. There are so many mistakes I could be making right now. Experience isn't primary, but it's the catalyst of distant and avoided moments that I usually find myself tipp-toeing away from. I can't say I'll feel this away again for a while, but if I don't I truly hope I read this post and just drift into it's reflective sea.

I'm always asking myself if I can make a difference before I die. I think that's all I want.

He nose that

2008-12-04T11:59:00.000-08:00

My right nostril is flaring red. I think it's chapped. I went to the store and got some nostril stick and now my right nostril is red and shiny. I should have gotten the non glaze nostril stick with aloe. The aloe would have sunk into my shedding right nostril pours and would have codderized them. Today is the day that the nostril will shut off.

Crampcolonstomisticly Beacon Bodies

2008-11-26T21:57:00.001-08:00

I have cramps like superman has crytonitic body meetings. You are correct, they do not happen often, but when they do it's like trying to fit a small semi in your liver or cheek bone; it's not going to happen. I tell you not any lies, but the truth and negative false testimony that a spleen popping in my castle of a body could do less damage. Abraham Lincoln said it best when he said, "pennies saved are pennies that you've earned". I swallowed a couple and saved them from the ground. I did earn them and then I returned them to the ground from wenst they came.

It should be obvious to anyone that it is good, that to eat sharp objects at times. This is similar to the turkey who eats rocks. I'm tuffer (Tuffy-bike tuff) than any turkey, so I think that we can stop praying and start believing that we are incredible holders of strange digestive thingies. Amen and good night.

Crazy night(s)

2008-10-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

Last night I danced on my bed and threw pillows in the air. It gave the impression of wild living, but yet said that I had a strong personality. Clearly the a coorelation can be drawn between the two. If you take into account the jumping on your bed with your shirt off looks crazy and that you normally don't jump on your bed with your shirt off then one can assume wild living. Everyone already assumes normal or cautious living, but seldom do we see wild living like I lived last night.

The less convincing part is that throwing my pillows in the air was a sign of a strong personality. Who else throws their pillows in the air?! First people who are sick of them. This is clearly not the case since I am poor and people know this, so they can only conclude that I threw them will jumping because I was making a statement of "pillow freedom". "Pillow freedom" can often be misconstrued and I don't want to get into details, but the true meaning is caring enough about your artsy body to throw the pillow where you will. It is both efficient and artsy.

I did not mention the 1000 kick contest I had with myself while watching internet television series. This is a tactic used to strengthen the underpart of the legs while laying on your belly watching TV. Every commercial you should try to do up to 100 belly kicks. This will save your life and money. You will not as obese as you already (Check your BMI or body mass index, no matter what the doctor says your fat) are and secondly you don't have to go to the gym.

My thoughts in the Market Spiral

2008-10-10T10:12:00.001-07:00

Food Market

Stage 1

People are buying at will and on average are almost spending more than they make. Americans spend every penny.

Any restaurant, convenience, or grocery store.

Stage 2
"Current Stage"

People are not planning for a depression, they are grudgingly spending every penny until they have no more pennies not realizing that things are not getting better.

Companies that profit:

Fast Food
Restaurants without waiters
Low Cost providers for grocery or closest grocery store
People drastically buy less at the convenience store.

These companies feel they are making a profit, but it will be short lived when all money stops coming in.

Stage 3

There is no credit and banks/credit card companies realize that the majority cannot pay so they stop spending. There is a great focus on survival and getting back to the essentials of life.

Companies that profit:

Owned Farms
People are walking. Lowest cost grocery store and seeking produce from their backyards.

I really think there will be a return to deep thought. When this is said and done there will be a less shallow generation; a greatful generation. People will know what they believe and why they believe. They will understand the value of life and the value of having very little. Some won't be able to withstand it. If I am stripped of everything I will have no choice but to look to God and focus on what he has for me to do.

Economics, twinkies, and hoho's

2008-10-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

In Economics we are talking about twinkies and hoho's. If the price of twinkies goes up what does that do to the market for hoho's? Hoho's are cleary a substitute good and not a compliment. So if the price of twinkies goes up the demand for hoho's increases which then causes an increase the price and quantity of hoho's.

Let's suppose that the price of sugar increases. What does this do to the market for twinkies? Sugar is an input of twinkies since one cannot make twinkies without sugar and if they do they will probably see a downward trend in demand for their product. So since sugar is an input of twinkies it will effect the supply of twinkies. The supply of twinkies will decrease leading to an increase in price and a decrease in the quantity of twinkies produced.

What happens to the market for twinkies when the population income increases? This supposedly depends on whether you consider twinkies to be a normal or inferior good. Since twinkies are relatively cheap I think they are an inferior good. Since they are an inferior good and the general population income increases this would cause the demand for twinkies to decline. In so doing the price and quantity of twinkies decreases. This will cause a surplus in the twinkie market.

What happens to the market for twinkies if the price of twinkies goes up or down? Nothing happens. The price moves up and down the same demand curve.

These examples assume that all else is held constant.

Something's gotta give

2008-10-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

I am overwhelmed. I feel like an insignificant speck in the vast sea of what is now my life. School is killing me. Taking Calculus, Statistics, Economics, Business Writing, and Marketing seems to be a horrible combination. Especially the Calculus, Statistics, and Economics part. I have been working on my house as little as one can work without being openly aware of it. I really want to work on it, but I have zero time to work and zero time to recruit. In this, I realize I have spent less time with my family and less time pursuing my relationship with God. I have been trying to help others and not helping myself or my family and I think I am worse off than if I wouldn't have helped anyone at all. Family should come before others. If it doesn't it should be a joint effort. I am working around 20 hours a week to try to keep finances afloat, but it has become increasingly impossible. The bills are barely getting paid, but I have no doubt in God's ability to see me through this. I don't blame him for not. I got myself here and I need to learn from this experience.

I truly hope all this work is of value to my family and anyone else I can help. I just keep remembering that it's not about me. I need give, give, give until there's nothing left. Ever since I heard that song by Reliant K it has completely changed my life. I don't know why. It just stuck with the very heart of me. That's what I have been doing, but something's gotta give back to me. So I will be reassessing my life in the near future and I will try to determine what has to give and how I can pursue the things that make life so special; the very basics of what makes me what I need to be for my family and future.

Back to School

2008-09-04T11:05:00.001-07:00

"Back to school. Back to school. Try to prove to daddy that I'm not a fool." - James Madison a.k.a. Adam Sandler

Truer words were never spoken, but I feel more like...

"Back to endless hours at the library and bathrooms. Back to arguing with my wife and nervously induced bowel movements. Try to prove to future employers that I can survive."

This Old House

2008-08-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

I really wish I had Bob Vila to come in and have the fancy introduction he could always give, but I don't. Everything has a beginning. Well...maybe everything. If you watch the video you'll see my house before I started work on it. I want to update it every once in a while. It's kind of neat to watch something transform. This is just the upstairs. I'll focus on the downstairs next. It's really a daunting task, and I don't wish this on anyone; not even contractors.

Hope for bungie jumpers?

2008-06-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

Is there hope for bungie jumpers? I have to say there is no hope. Their going to bum a jump off of someone whether you want them to our note. They are people with no fear and they are a bit taller than the average beginner. They stretch over time or they get dislocated joints. I find that sometimes they bite their nails and often they do it while jumping. This would account for the abrasions to the face both in the cheeks and occasionally a torn nostril for the less decisive nose picker. I really think there is a cure. Eliminate bungie jumping. There is a new sport called wungie jumping, but it is too grusome to speak or write of in the English language and mandrin chinese is the only known translation for it's genre of sports. I do not speak chinese. Pray for these wungie or bungie jumpers and write your congressman.

That one time. . .

2008-05-30T21:12:00.001-07:00

Do you remember that one time we did that one thing? That was sooo cool. I remember that day because you said hi or was it hey? It was an unforgettable high. Like eating Billy Graham crackers (the boxed kind, nothing racial). We talked for a while and you left in your mode of transporation. Before that, we had only talked a few times using a mode of communication. I don't mean to avoid specifics, but it was all a bit shady in the excitment. I forsee a hard day and a few incredible days ahead for you. Next time we'll laugh about this and probably that using a mode of communication verbal or nonverbal. I really do miss something about you. Drop me a call like the good ole' days.

There and now

2008-04-30T20:06:00.000-07:00

Life is a blur. When I was 21 I thought to myself...Self, you could die a happy man. I have done a lot for being 21. Now that I am 28 there seems like there is so much more to accomplish. I recently spoke with a friend and we were discussing the issue of suicide. To so many it seems like a selfish act and at a glance it really is. However people that contemplate suicide are inundated with crazy emotions and a deep loss of self worth. In my friends example he was a teenager and his neighbor killed himself after calling all his friends and family. It was over a girl. Another one of my friends had his friend also kill himself by jumping off of a cliff. It was over a girl. It was obviously devastating enough to want to end their life. I truly wish they could have seen themselves as I do at 28. I really do. There is so much more that's waiting, if some would just give themselves a chance. It's ironic that so many sit in death row and are fighting for minutes to live and so many are willing to give away millions of minutes to just die.

Whenever temptation comes, righteousness is at hand. Whenever absolute impending doom shakes its' fist at us, deliverence is on its' way. You'll never know if you don't try.

ADHD

2008-02-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

ADHD has so many benefits to society. I have ADHD and I know how great it really is. To not be ADHD or hang out with someone that has it, is like searching for a specially tainted pickle (STP) in the 50 gallon jar you just bought. You may see the STP once in a while floating, but why chance letting STP be eaten. Snatch up your ADHD people or STP's. You will not be dissappointed.

For those of you who have never experienced an STP, your missing out on the true meaning of life. Try taking a bite. If you haven't yet met an ADHD, sit tight. We will find you and impress you with our special taint.

Eating

2008-01-31T21:02:00.000-08:00

Today I did homework. Ate pizza. Chewed pizza. More Homework. Smelled cookies and lit my robes on fire from a candle I was praying next to.

Holy Advertising.com

2007-12-29T22:41:00.000-08:00

You. You're important. Whoever you are. Whatever you are doing; it is important. What you have to say is interesting. Who you want to be is important. It's relevant. It applys. Your what Jesus died for and your are exactly what he is looking for. He wants to know everything and tell you things about yourself that you could never imagine describable. He wants to share what he thinks of you. He believes in you. Talk to him tonight and you'll see what I mean.

Your Face

2007-12-27T21:24:00.001-08:00

Let this ocean all but end.
This sea, may it grasp the infinite undulations of forbidden time and shake the foundations of the most stable thought.
Both now and forever.
For I have seen with my very eyes the coalition of endless beauty on its skin
And beneath I have witnessed the immersion of all that is human. All that is life.
Who can say its limits?
It is here. It is there.
It is in each eye. In the hallowed detriment and soundless victory now passed.
By smile and centimeter it does stretch to heighten and deepen its course.
Every breath bares its feeling.
Every worry hewn décor craves and creeds its gist.
Who can know its end?
For love knows no finish
And sways not with the reel of tempest
But gazes perpetually in the midst of any and all
And like burden it cradles the weary of heart,
Humbles the mighty
And brings purpose to the forgotten.
But look full and know there exists none less casual.
Nothing less felt; Nothing more exact.
Then you will see as I.
For I hold it above feeling
Above element, life or death,
And with a most desperate ardor seize its choice.
For here or there, nothing is more needed or deserved the least.

Angry Sausage

2007-12-18T13:26:00.001-08:00

Have you ever wondered what sausage does to your body. Well, let me tell you. Sausage is a rare meat, not in its frequency, not in numbers, but rare in its sheer revenge. You heard me correctly. . .revenge! Sausage attacks the body and vital organs and usually takes 60 years to 80 years to kill. Sausage enzymes protect themselves. I know because I am an expert on meat cells. Some think that meat knows nothing. But meat meets knowledge all the time. Yesterday I had a sausage biscuit and I felt the angry meat cells revelling through my digestive system and attacking my right elbow (An elbow is less suspicious. The mighty meet cells or MMC's attack at random parts of the body to be less predictive in their evil ventures. Some even say that arthritis is actually MMC's attacking their fingers).

Please eat your sausage carefully. It has the highest MMC per bite.

New Day

2007-11-07T10:38:00.000-08:00

Raise the Morning
Let a million suns trace my arm
Let them grace the shadow
Gift the eye of glass and flesh
The Great and Low, the Faultless alike
The Notorious and the Fettered
Bare them credence
For they self-described or common
Care not for moon or assemblage of star
Care not that rest shroud them or the angels keep
But this promise, circadian, their soul does chant
Awake
For fly thy dreary, thy hopeful, thy course I must
Be I Icarus or the very enthralled of distant deepest sky
In you I careful rest
For you I wait

The moment

2007-10-12T09:35:00.001-07:00

You are as dream undressed.
Trumping beauty itself.
Uncleansed by opinion, unscathed by mind or momentous commonplace.
Impossible what lies me here.
I dare not name it.
I dare not name you.
I dare not place you a thought, I dare not breath.
Search me, I too will leave.
For I fear your passing.
Lisp and stutter. These make the moment.
For here and now, betwix the eternities
I see you as no one ever will.
None other can hold this distance or frame.
Upon fancy, whim, or happens it can never be.

Barely Talk and Listen Much

2007-09-27T19:25:00.000-07:00

Mark Twain once wrote that "[t]here are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."

I have to admit, I have been in that second pool of people. I see it all the time. It seems to be a push for respect. Someone talks to you and makes you feel comfortable and within a minute you are telling them everything they didn't ask for. We leave them thinking to ourselves, "They are impressed". What we fail to realize most of the time, is that they are being nice. A common courtesy that Dale Carnegie recommends to everyone trying to gain friendship and respect: "Let the other person do the greater deal of talking."

I now feel that anyone accomplished has no need to prove themselves. In truth, they are the ones sought after, the ones respected and well thought of. I have to admit, after learning this I realized how insanely selfish it is to talk away and try to impress the other person. It's kind of embarassing to know that I am being tolerated. Needless to say, I need to learn the art of not talking enough and listening too much.

Change...me

2007-09-23T21:54:00.000-07:00

"Changed" in its elementary form is good. I feel like I have changed a lot in my life. I have so many things left to change that seem so rudimentary to a common day; things that may be simple to so many. Why can't I conquer these changes? Where is the far-reaching-thought-provoking ideas and dreams that I had when I was younger? When did they leave me? I have to admit that they are still there...dormant in the recesses of my mind; surfacing when stimulated by any sense familiar or dream born.

In truth, I remit a few moments that I have wished to be smoothed away on the stubbed surface of time passed, but other than that they are experience in its ignorance and infancy. I find myself looking deeper. There is something great and mystical about being alive, constantly accumulating. I know that if and when I am old and dying, when my teeth are gone, my eyes shut wide open, when taste has surrendered to my tongue its last favor, and my mind rendered an empty box that my vivacious soul will remember what I have done, and I will come to the same conclusion that I have come to today...

I have learned and learn. Feel free to substitute any other action verbs you have.

Gas'y Ice Cream

2007-09-12T16:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, for 20 minutes, I sat in Art 101 and painted a huge piece of paper completely black. At this stage we were then asked to draw things with our eraser.

Not one person mentioned 9/11 yesterday. Not one. I saw a couple hundred people and not one mentioned 9/11/2001.

Ice cream makes me sound and feel funny. I think I am intolerate. It hurts. It really does. The cheese, ice cream, and cow drained products...all casterated from my life. I'm going to eat them anyways.

Faithful Pizza by the Hour

2007-08-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. I eat it by the hour. It burns my tongue, it clogs my pours and at times my butt. But, I still love to eat pizza. It will be the end of me. As I age into nothingness, I started realizing there are only a select few in this world that we really become life longs friends with. Idiots. Regardless of the humbling experience of only having a few friends you can bet they'll be there. I had pizza today with some very good friends. Yes, they paid.

I had pizza for lunch and breakfast, so I am waiting for the aftermath. It may become clear. Kind of like putting your forearm on a cheese grater (not grader, I just assume it's good coming out of the package) and wittling away as well as squeezing lemon juice all over it for immediate results....It's gonna bite later.

Goodbye cruel cheese.