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You. You're important. Whoever you are. Whatever you are doing; it is important. What you have to say is interesting. Who you want to be is important. It's relevant. It applys. Your what Jesus died for and your are exactly what he is looking for. He wants to know everything and tell you things about yourself that you could never imagine describable. He wants to share what he thinks of you. He believes in you. Talk to him tonight and you'll see what I mean.

Your Face

Let this ocean all but end.
This sea, may it grasp the infinite undulations of forbidden time and shake the foundations of the most stable thought.
Both now and forever.
For I have seen with my very eyes the coalition of endless beauty on its skin
And beneath I have witnessed the immersion of all that is human. All that is life.
Who can say its limits?
It is here. It is there.
It is in each eye. In the hallowed detriment and soundless victory now passed.
By smile and centimeter it does stretch to heighten and deepen its course.
Every breath bares its feeling.
Every worry hewn décor craves and creeds its gist.
Who can know its end?
For love knows no finish
And sways not with the reel of tempest
But gazes perpetually in the midst of any and all
And like burden it cradles the weary of heart,
Humbles the mighty
And brings purpose to the forgotten.
But look full and know there exists none less casual.
Nothing less felt; Nothing more exact.
Then you will see as I.
For I hold it above feeling
Above element, life or death,
And with a most desperate ardor seize its choice.
For here or there, nothing is more needed or deserved the least.

Angry Sausage

Have you ever wondered what sausage does to your body. Well, let me tell you. Sausage is a rare meat, not in its frequency, not in numbers, but rare in its sheer revenge. You heard me correctly. . .revenge! Sausage attacks the body and vital organs and usually takes 60 years to 80 years to kill. Sausage enzymes protect themselves. I know because I am an expert on meat cells. Some think that meat knows nothing. But meat meets knowledge all the time. Yesterday I had a sausage biscuit and I felt the angry meat cells revelling through my digestive system and attacking my right elbow (An elbow is less suspicious. The mighty meet cells or MMC's attack at random parts of the body to be less predictive in their evil ventures. Some even say that arthritis is actually MMC's attacking their fingers).

Please eat your sausage carefully. It has the highest MMC per bite.

New Day

Raise the Morning
Let a million suns trace my arm
Let them grace the shadow
Gift the eye of glass and flesh
The Great and Low, the Faultless alike
The Notorious and the Fettered
Bare them credence
For they self-described or common
Care not for moon or assemblage of star
Care not that rest shroud them or the angels keep
But this promise, circadian, their soul does chant
Awake
For fly thy dreary, thy hopeful, thy course I must
Be I Icarus or the very enthralled of distant deepest sky
In you I careful rest
For you I wait

The moment

You are as dream undressed.
Trumping beauty itself.
Uncleansed by opinion, unscathed by mind or momentous commonplace.
Impossible what lies me here.
I dare not name it.
I dare not name you.
I dare not place you a thought, I dare not breath.
Search me, I too will leave.
For I fear your passing.
Lisp and stutter. These make the moment.
For here and now, betwix the eternities
I see you as no one ever will.
None other can hold this distance or frame.
Upon fancy, whim, or happens it can never be.

Barely Talk and Listen Much

Mark Twain once wrote that "[t]here are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."

I have to admit, I have been in that second pool of people. I see it all the time. It seems to be a push for respect. Someone talks to you and makes you feel comfortable and within a minute you are telling them everything they didn't ask for. We leave them thinking to ourselves, "They are impressed". What we fail to realize most of the time, is that they are being nice. A common courtesy that Dale Carnegie recommends to everyone trying to gain friendship and respect: "Let the other person do the greater deal of talking."

I now feel that anyone accomplished has no need to prove themselves. In truth, they are the ones sought after, the ones respected and well thought of. I have to admit, after learning this I realized how insanely selfish it is to talk away and try to impress the other person. It's kind of embarassing to know that I am being tolerated. Needless to say, I need to learn the art of not talking enough and listening too much.

Change...me

"Changed" in its elementary form is good. I feel like I have changed a lot in my life. I have so many things left to change that seem so rudimentary to a common day; things that may be simple to so many. Why can't I conquer these changes? Where is the far-reaching-thought-provoking ideas and dreams that I had when I was younger? When did they leave me? I have to admit that they are still there...dormant in the recesses of my mind; surfacing when stimulated by any sense familiar or dream born.

In truth, I remit a few moments that I have wished to be smoothed away on the stubbed surface of time passed, but other than that they are experience in its ignorance and infancy. I find myself looking deeper. There is something great and mystical about being alive, constantly accumulating. I know that if and when I am old and dying, when my teeth are gone, my eyes shut wide open, when taste has surrendered to my tongue its last favor, and my mind rendered an empty box that my vivacious soul will remember what I have done, and I will come to the same conclusion that I have come to today...

I have learned and learn. Feel free to substitute any other action verbs you have.

Gas'y Ice Cream

Yesterday, for 20 minutes, I sat in Art 101 and painted a huge piece of paper completely black. At this stage we were then asked to draw things with our eraser.

Not one person mentioned 9/11 yesterday. Not one. I saw a couple hundred people and not one mentioned 9/11/2001.

Ice cream makes me sound and feel funny. I think I am intolerate. It hurts. It really does. The cheese, ice cream, and cow drained products...all casterated from my life. I'm going to eat them anyways.

Faithful Pizza by the Hour

Yes, it's true. I eat it by the hour. It burns my tongue, it clogs my pours and at times my butt. But, I still love to eat pizza. It will be the end of me. As I age into nothingness, I started realizing there are only a select few in this world that we really become life longs friends with. Idiots. Regardless of the humbling experience of only having a few friends you can bet they'll be there. I had pizza today with some very good friends. Yes, they paid.

I had pizza for lunch and breakfast, so I am waiting for the aftermath. It may become clear. Kind of like putting your forearm on a cheese grater (not grader, I just assume it's good coming out of the package) and wittling away as well as squeezing lemon juice all over it for immediate results....It's gonna bite later.

Goodbye cruel cheese.

The Bucks Stop Here

I now live in Wisconsin. What a trip! I started a LLC called Shoemark Solutions, LLC. I plan on doing Microsoft SQL Server stuff for a while. I have three clients initially. I hope to increase that number, but we'll see if that happens. I have pretty much seen the majority of my family. Especially the people I didn't want to see. Anyone reading this can decide whether that last statement was true or not. I have yet to visit my old employer. I will be doing that most likely this week or next. No money as of yet. Stressful yet satisfying. Pretty much like opening a starburst. Intense poop.

P.S. The leaves are starting to turn a bit. Fall is coming. I live in the Ghetto, so looking at leaves is all the pleasure I can afford.

Amazing Tuna

It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. Look at George Bush. I voted for him. He is a mumbling blithering orator or lack of orator. Like a male Great Dane and a female Chihuahua. It's just not going to happen. But yet the guy gets elected twice. He beat the male Great Dane to female Chihuahua ratio. Who does that anyway?

Yesterday I was confronted with a thought of stupidity. It wasn't my idea of course, it was a girls. She was giving me a life lesson. Showing me the error of my ways. I tried to speak english but it was apparent that she was speaking woman. I brought in a translator. He is still having mental issues. It's bad enough to work with someone like that without being chewed for being lazy. I am lazy. Like a snail with chains on his gastropodatious slime and a mental thing on his head saying "You can't move. You will fail you sickening excuse for a insect kingdom member." who just got his antenna cut off by his friends who also said, "You uni-antenna like freak! You are so slow, they coined backwards, degression, and the musical piece retardo de opus after your likeness!". Yes, that lazy.

This guy wasn't lazy, he was amazing and no one should admire him: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignaz_Trebitsch-Lincoln

Magic Cool Aid and Long Underwear

Have you ever drank cool aid and you think it's grape James Warren "Jim" Jones cyanide-laced grape flavored kool aid, but it's really just plain strawberry? Or maybe you've frequented a Mexican restaurant that you feel is hurl friendly but really was rated a 10 out of 11 by the "mystery shopper magazine for conservative Latino food eaters"?

This is what happened to me today. I asked myself, "Self, is this magic kool aid or just plain strawberry? Is this 10 out of 11 or a barfoni fiesta?" It turns out it's probably a good donut, a clean diaper.

My manager said that since I was going he may want to do contract work with me. Skepticism took its toll. I wanted in, but not to be left in the oven at 450°. I feel this could be a good thing. I could start a business. It's what I have always wanted. I feel I must leave this in the hands of God. He knows when to shut the oven off and when to flip over the hash rounds.

Check out the Halo 3 flick at the top of the blog. It's good.

Drop the gloves let the poop fly

It's always a strange thing quitting a job. The people around you are thinking "you lucky fishterd" and others think..."foolish dung" because they want your job or think they are getting less competition for the boss's position. I have usually been in the mindset of "if you stay your making a donkey of yourself".

This time though I have no promise of income. I have no grand scheme other than to fill my head with profound brain things. Yes, school. It worries me because I have met more screwed people that have a college education and are bent over in a stupor from the professors filling their jelly donut shells with recycled balony products instead of the every day american ingenuity and individualism we will call "raspberry" jelly than there are fist marks on an Everlast punching bag. No ones going to truly eat their brains and think..."this stuff is good". Oh no, they will hurl their balony out when no one is looking.

To sum it up, I put in my notice at work. I don't know if I will have any income. I am going to school to get my bachelors and masters degree in business. I am moving back to Wisconsin where there is hopefully some jelly for me.

Spanking New

Don't let the title deceive. I have a gentle personality. Hopefully the "new" gave that away. The "spanking" shows my ability to lay down the smack. Regardless, this blog is just beginning. It's a metaphor of my when I was born. It's new.



In truth, I felt somewhat lost. A victim to depravity that follows after years of being married and not being able to talk about anything other than children, the relationship, and post 9/11 security issues that make traveling with children difficult. So I thought this might make up for it. If it doesn't I probably will stop writing in it. That will become apparent when you stop seeing posts and start seeing nothing.



I hope you enjoy listening to my jargon as much as I do. On a scale of temperature from 1 to 98.6 I feel like a 73. Oh yeah, I felt sorry for myself today. I only do this, because there seems to be a lack of it in the world. How often is someone going to feel sorry for you? I certainly don't have time. That's the American way.